Life after spiritual awakening

My spiritual awakening was unexpected and preceded any interest I had in spirituality. Much like waking up from a bad dream, I went from paralysing suffering to spontaneous awakening within seconds. What I thought was “reality” revealed itself to be exactly that, just a thought!

The journey that followed was a wildly creative and colourful descent into all things “spiritual” and lasted for around 7 years. During that time, I was seduced by peak experiences, elevated states of consciousness, shamanic adventures and a dizzying array of spiritual “technologies” that blew apart my psyche and repeatedly tore open my wounded heart. 

I clung to these spiritual pathways in much the same way people cling to religions, devotedly swearing my allegiance and attempting to convert others. But the silent truth I had discovered in my initial awakening refused to let me rest. It laughed at my so-called allegiance and ripped my “spiritual ego” to shreds.

“Go home” it demanded.

“Stop distracting yourself” it insisted.

“True transformation begins in the home” it proclaimed.

And so, somewhat reluctantly, that’s what I did.

I listened to my inner voice, I said goodbye to the spiritual glitz & glamour and turned my attention to the one enduring path that renders all spiritual paths obsolete.

I returned to the heart of all creation – my home.

After the dizzying heights of spirituality, I now live a relatively humble existence as a common householder and this is where my deepest and most transformative work has been done.

I make the beds with consciousness. I clean the toilets with love. I buy groceries with awareness. I take the kids to school with presence. I engage with my parents and in-laws with kindness and compassion. My (unawakened) partner is my guru. His authentic loving presence never fails to illuminate my own illusions and blocks to love.

It is in my householder duties that I have discovered that which is enduring. 

It is in the heart of the home where all wounding originates and where all healing culminates.

Freedom lies in how we relate, not in the who’s, why’s or where’s.

Spirituality helped me explore the depths of my being, but liberation only arrived the moment I lived it.