How can I be more curious of another when in a relationship and less judgemental?

Judgement of others is always a reflection of what’s happening in our own consciousness.

When we cast judgement what we are really doing is projecting our unclaimed ‘shadow’ onto another. The things we can’t accept about ourselves, good or bad, manifest in our biased evaluation of others.

When we extend judgement in this way we aren’t seeing reality as it is, we are seeing shadows.

Becoming more curious in relationship involves deep listening.

Deep listening means to go beyond your thinking mind and listen with your body. It means your whole being is open, awake and present, both to the other and your own internal reactions in response to the other.

Deep listening is the first step towards harnessing your ‘shadow’ and making it work for you instead of against you.

Universally speaking, relationships proceed much more smoothly when generosity of interpretation is applied.

Applying generosity of interpretation and communicating without friction or irritation is the basis for authentic and heartful relating.

The cultivation of humility also goes a long way.

How do you recognise a spiritual healer?

A spiritual healer is a thief and an arsonist.

They will offer you nothing and will take everything from you.

If you suspect there is a spiritual healer in your midst, approach with caution.

If you let them into your consciousness, they will steal your identity, trash your past and incinerate your future.

They will strike the match that burns your house to the ground until only ashes remain.

There will be no place to hide.

Nothing to cling to.

And you will be eternally grateful for it.

For it is here, in the ashes of your former self you will find that which is indestructible.

When the fire of transformation has finished raging, burning away veils of illusion and all that is no longer needed, you will remember your true self.

You will discover that which has been lying dormant within you since the beginning of your incarnation, waiting for the moment the match strikes.

Anything other than this is not a spiritual healer.

Why is it hard to find & connect with people who are transparent?

What you are really asking is how can I relate to others authentically.

Authentic relating is transparent in the sense that nothing is hidden or excluded within yourself or the other. It means you feel safe to express your true experience without fear of being judged.

People who communicate authentically have deeply fulfilling and meaningful relationships. They have mastered the art of deep listening and communicate sincerely and wholeheartedly.

Deep listening means to go beyond your thinking mind and listen with your body. It means your whole being is open, awake and present. It means you are in contact with the subtle underlying energy that animates all of existence and you know how your embodied shape moves and changes in response to it.

The key to authentic relating lies in the acceptance of all parts of yourself, including the unpalatable and ‘shadow’ aspects of your personality that are normally kept hidden from view.

Author and mystic, Toko-Pa Turner, sums this up perfectly:

“There is a special quality of stillness in a person who encounters the shadow wholeheartedly. Your body may relax in their company because it understands, in the subtle communications of their presence, that nothing is excluded in themselves, therefore nothing in you can be rejected.”

Our perception of others and the world at large always mirrors the state of our own consciousness.

If you are not engaged in a genuine and straightforward relationship with the whole of your self, you will find it difficult to develop meaningful connections with others.

Cultivate an authentic and transparent relationship with yourself and this is what you will naturally come to manifest externally.

How can spirituality fix my depression?

Your mistake here is in thinking that the “depression” is yours.

It’s not yours and never was.

“Depression” may be occurring, but your ego appears to have adopted it as its own and is now using it to create an identity.

Stop doing this.

Stop claiming something that doesn’t belong to you.

“Depression” may be happening, but so too is its opposite state. Look more closely and you’ll see that “aliveness” is co-occurring.

If you insist on claiming something as yours, you also have to assert its opposite; for one can’t exist without the other.

Problems in life only arise when we identify, label and claim something as our own, rather than simply observing and/or allowing the experiencing of its passing occurrence.

Spirituality exposes ego’s psychotic and clingy tendency towards attachment.

Spirituality will bring you face-to-face with “depression”, but it will also bring you into direct and intimate relationship with “aliveness”.

NOTE: This answer is representative of a spiritual “treatment” and not reflective of a psychological approach.

How many lives does it take to reach enlightenment?

It takes one life and one realisation.

The realisation is, nothing is as real as you think.

It sounds simple.

Because it is.

To wholly realise this truth, all you have to do is stop what you’re presently doing.

Dismantle your belief system and detach from thinking. Become an empty vessel devoid of “doing”.

Non-doing is the pathway to liberation.

Non-doing allows action to arise spontaneously from the heart, instead of from the organ that thinks.

Action that arises out of non-doing is always right action.

If you think this is hard, it will be hard.

If you think it will take many lifetimes, it will take many lifetimes.

If you think it has to be earned through sacrifice, you will suffer.

If you think this is easy, you will stop what you’re doing right now.

If you think enlightenment is your right, you will claim it as yours and nothing will stand in your way.

Which meditation technique is safest for people with deep-rooted childhood trauma?

I don’t know enough about different meditation techniques to comment, however, what I do know about, is deep-rooted childhood trauma. Here’s what I can tell you…

Trauma is never an issue if it has been resolved and integrated, regardless of how disturbing or deep-rooted it is.

If trauma remains unresolved and unintegrated, however, no transpersonal work will be considered “safe”. In other words, there will always be a risk of suppressed trauma becoming activated and rising to the surface demanding resolution.

Ask yourself if you are ready to confront your past and heal. If the answer is no, avoid any transpersonal work until you’ve resolved your personal psychology.

Human beings have a remarkable capacity for recovery if the optimum conditions for healing are there. If the conditions are not optimal, however, a re-traumatisation can occur, thereby compounding the original trauma and potentially creating more complex adaptations that require more untangling than would otherwise be demanded.

If you are embarking on spiritual work but are concerned that you may have some unresolved trauma lurking beneath the surface, contemplate whether the optimal conditions exist within your life for a successful healing to occur.

Do you feel ready to confront your past?

Have you got a psychotherapist/counsellor who can offer guidance and be the witnessing presence to your healing?

Do you have a support network?

How skilled are you at processing and metabolising emotions?

If you’re at a facilitated event, enquire as to whether the facilitators are trauma-informed and if they’re capable of supporting someone who may experience a spontaneous cathartic reaction in response to rising trauma.

The work of expanding your conscious awareness beyond its known limits requires a deep dive into your unconscious mind. This descent from the head to the heart, from the known to the unknown, always carries risks and shouldn’t be underestimated.

Poking around in your unconscious mind is always going to stir the sleeping monsters. The real question is, are you ready to do battle with your inner demons?

How do I return to a normal & grounded state after a kundalini awakening?

The activation of Kundalini signals the start of a spiritual healing process that aims to restore you to a balanced and harmonious state.

This journey of transformation represents a normal part of our evolutionary unfolding and signifies the move from an ego-centric state of consciousness to a “God” or heart-centric state of consciousness.

In order to restore balance & harmony, Kundalini brings us face-to-face with our dis-ease.

Fear, denial, ignorance, jealousy, gossiping, fighting, philandering and general betrayals of the self, along with suppressed emotion, unintegrated trauma, ancestral wounding and societal/cultural conditioning are “purged” from the bodymind system.

Restoring the integrity of our being by emptying ourselves of the self-serving ego and integrating our shadow aspects is known by the Lakota as “becoming the hollow bone”. The cleaner the bone the more energy it can carry, with the cleanest ‘bones’ renowned for having the most spiritual power.

As healing processes go, Kundalini is immensely powerful and not to be approached lightly.

Without a context of understanding, the activation of Kundalini (which presents as very real physical phenomena) can be hugely disorienting & debilitating, especially if no prior preparation to strengthen the egoic container has been done.

Simply put, if your personal psychology is not in order, you can expect a bumpy ride!

It’s worth noting here that cultural influences also play a part in predicting the successful outcome of a spiritual initiation. This intense rite of passage is largely misunderstood in Western culture due to the ancestral severing of our relationship to spirit. In indigenous communities, however, where connection to spirit remains strong, it is more widely recognised, understood, honoured & supported.

Without adequate support and the development of key qualities/skills necessary for navigating what is essentially a ‘death’ process, a failed initiation is almost certain. Blowing holes in one’s psyche before it is ready to be disassembled can give rise to serious psychological distortions.

Attempting to abort the process of transformation only leads to intensifying suffering and I have personally witnessed and worked with people suffering from post-traumatic stress as a result of the premature activation of Kundalini, or their futile attempts to shut it down.

As an aside, I haven’t yet encountered anyone who has successfully halted a Kundalini awakening without the aid of psychiatric medication. And even then, all that really happens is that Kundalini lays dormant under layers of new suppression & denial threatening to spring forth later but in far uglier and more complex ways that require more disentangling than was initially demanded.

My advice, therefore, in answer to this question is to eradicate any notion of reversing your spiritual awakening. Instead, find ways to work with it instead of against it.

Accept your present situation as your new normal.

Find a good therapist or spiritual teacher who can guide you accordingly and bear witness to your healing.

Work on developing an inner cosmology alongside essential qualities & skills integral to the process of transformation. You can find these here.

Focus your attention on being more embodied, not less. Spend time in nature, eat meat & earthy vegetables, swim in the sea/lake, exercise daily, dance, sing, pray and cultivate self-love.

Embrace Kundalini and you will be well on your way to a successful liberation.

How do I not get affected by people who judge me in public? I don’t want to fix myself to fit in.

The simple answer is, be more like Marmite.

For those of you who don’t know Marmite, it’s a British food product with a distinctive flavour that has a love/hate relationship with the British public. It’s based on a yeast extract made from the by-products of brewing beer and people either love it or hate it. So much so, Marmite has even harnessed this controversy in its branding campaign.

Mention Marmite to anyone and they’ll either light up or pull a face indicating their preference for the brown sticky stuff.

But here’s what you don’t see…

You don’t see Marmite getting offended and crying itself to sleep at night because of all the haters.

Nor do you see Marmite developing an inflated sense of self because it’s aligned with the lovers.

Marmite is just being Marmite.

People love it and people hate it. But one thing is true, what people think of Marmite has nothing to do with Marmite itself and everything to do with the person encountering it.

So forget about people’s opinions of you. Be more like Marmite.

Just do you.

What does it mean to die before you die and how can this help you in life?

Eckhart Tolle said, “Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to “die before you die” – and find that there is no death.”

Echoed by the wisdom traditions the world over, this sentiment is also understood by anyone who has undergone the evolutionary process of transforming their human consciousness into divine consciousness.

“Death” in this context refers to a psychological undoing.

The act of dismantling and shedding layers of mental conditioning perforates the (dense) psyche, unbinding and rewilding oneself.

To ego, this excavation process feels like death. But this is not death, it’s transformation.

When we let go of who we think we are, truth in all its wholeness can reveal itself. Until then, life continues to reflect that which we think.

With regard to how helpful this process is to the functioning of our lives, much like opening the curtains in one’s house, light floods in and dark corners and monstrous shadows are exposed for what they truly are…

A play of light.

A trick of the mind.

A figment of our imagination.

Opening the curtains simultaneously eradicates one’s fear of the monster and the monster itself.

Without fear, all of life is given permission to flow unhindered through you, as you.

What is one method or technique that if applied with enough frequency & intensity results in enlightenment?

Practice “not doing”.

Seriously, that’s it.

Bring awareness to what you’re doing without judgement and soon enough you’ll become Awareness itself.

In this context, “doing” includes thinking and feeling.

Clinging to thoughts is an action.

Reacting to thoughts is an action.

Judging is an action.

The actions of clinging, reacting and judging create identification with something other than what you are.

Stop doing this.

Practice not-doing, abide in Awareness, and enlightenment is certain.

Abiding as Awareness is not-doing.

How do I overcome the desire to be enlightened?

The desire to be enlightened is much like the desire I experienced as a little girl wishing away my childhood, longing for the arrival of adulthood.

My desire to be a “grown-up” was less about becoming an adult and more about having the freedom to do my own thing.

Had I understood this at the time I may have settled into myself and enjoyed my childhood a little more.

Adulthood was always going to come, there was never any question of that. But adulthood doesn’t bring freedom. That was my childish delusion.

Freedom is always available, right here, right now, regardless of one’s age or circumstance.

Freedom is an internal movement that lies in how we relate.

And so it is with enlightenment.

The desire is never for enlightenment, but for freedom.

When this is known, all external seeking stops and freedom arises.

Is sex a hindrance on a spiritual path?

There is an erroneous belief amongst spiritual circles that sexual abstinence is necessary for spiritual awakening.

This is not true.

Where spirituality is concerned, it’s not about what you do, but how you do it.

Like all things in life, sex can either be a medicine or a poison depending on how you engage with it.

It is one’s relationship with sex, and not the activity itself, that determines whether it will be a hindrance or a help in your quest for a more spiritual life.

Any activity that is performed selfishly and with ill intent will prove life-diminishing, rather than life-affirming.

People have sex for all sorts of reasons that don’t always involve love, including boosting self-esteem, discharging energy, avoiding painful emotions, gaining power over another, or for commercial gain.

Contemplate what is your intention when having sex.

Are you engaging consciously?

Are you aware of the power over/under that you possess in relation to another?

It is this aspect of awareness that will propel your spiritual journey far quicker than abstinence.

What did Albert Einstein mean when he wrote “Time is an illusion”?

A few weeks before Albert Einstein’s death he wrote a letter to the family of a recently deceased friend in which he wrote, “For people like us who believe in physics, the separation between past, present and future has only the importance of an admittedly tenacious illusion.”

What did he mean by these now-famous words?

I can’t speak for Einstein personally, but having come to the same realisation myself, not through physics but through rigorous internal enquiry, my understanding of time is that it is not as real as we think.

And therein lies the key to unlocking Einstein’s meaning.

Time (past & future) is a co-created thought construct that is only held in place by our collective belief in it.

When the imagined divisions between past, present & future dissolve, time collapses and the true nature of our reality reveals itself as timeless, eternal, and all happening now.

In this state of consciousness, time is seen for what it truly is: a dream-like figment of our imagination that we project outward.

This sentiment is echoed by wisdom traditions the world over as well as by indigenous cultures who have long known that the function of the mind is to dream. “Visioning” is to dream forward (future). “Remembering” is to dream backward (past). The otherworld is the imagination.

When this is understood, the concept of time travel takes on a whole new meaning!

How do I fill my need to connect with people?

Full question: How do I fill my need to connect with people? I have friends and I’m in a relationship, however, there is always a yearning for a deeper connection that I never seem able to fill. How do I deal?

I love this question because it speaks to the heart of all things.

What you are really asking is how can I connect with others on an authentic and meaningful level.

Most people are asking the same. They’ve just forgotten the question.

At a superficial level, it appears like we have it all figured out. But scratch the surface and you’ll find that most of humanity has forgotten how to live.

We have become so identified in matters of the mind and body we’ve forgotten the truth of who we are. We have travelled so far outside of ourselves, we no longer remember our way home.

Lost, lonely, emotionally sick, stretched to breaking point and at war with ourselves and one another, our spirits have become imprisoned in flesh and ego.

All of our problems boil down to one thing – we lack heart.

Only when we know who we are can we authentically connect with others on a deep and profound level.

To be in relationship means to be in contact with something direct. It means to let go of the thoughts & images we have constructed about ourselves & others and yield to that which is real & eternal.

Only in this naked state can true relationship begin and offer itself as a vehicle for healing, love and meaningful connection.

So, how do you deal?

Open your heart.

Embrace your vulnerability.



And the rest will take care of itself.

Does free will exist?

Yes, but only in Time.

There is a difference between functional free will and essential free will.

In the realm of Time (past & future), you have functional free will.

Outside of Time, there is essential free will.

In Time, there is two. Where there is two, there is choice and the will to choose between.

Outside of Time, there is only one. Where there is only one, there is no choice but to return to the one. In other words, your will is the will of the One.

In Time, you have the freedom to create whatever you personally desire, but only within the constraints of Time. In other words, whatever you create will someday end.

Outside of Time, the will of the One is continuity of life. It is to give birth to itself through creation and to transform Time into a vehicle for Eternity. In other words, the will of the One is to create a consciousness that is capable of communing with itself.

As an aside, it’s worth noting that “free will” and “freedom” are not synonymous. Having free will does not mean that you are free. Only when you liberate yourself of the bondage of Time and realise your unity with the One, are you truly free.

What purpose does consciousness serve?

To establish the purpose of consciousness, we would first need to understand what consciousness is.

This very question has mystified philosophers, physicists and spiritual seekers since time immemorial.

As it stands, there is no universally agreed-upon definition of consciousness. It remains a mystery that can only be pointed at.

My answer, therefore, acts as a pointer, based on my personal experience of awakening to the dream-like nature of reality…

Consciousness serves no purpose other than the one we create out of it.

On that basis, one could argue that the purpose of consciousness is to be our playing field.

An interactive interrelated multidimensional “playing field” is about as close as I can get to describing what consciousness is.

Another way I could describe it would be, art.

In my endeavour to define consciousness in words, I spent several days looking at it in a somewhat comical attempt to pin it down.

Funny thing happened…

Every time I looked at consciousness, it looked right back at me.

In our face-off, consciousness mutated, transformed and reconstructed itself around my ‘seeing’ of it.

In the dawning realisation that I was no longer looking at consciousness but a reflection of myself, consciousness gave me a cheeky wink and (seemingly) vanished from view!

And therein lies the truth of consciousness 😉

Perhaps therefore the purpose of consciousness is quite simply, play.

Why is spiritual enlightenment so elusive?

Yesterday, a client asked, “If you could give me one sentence that offers instant clarity, what would it be?”

Rising to the challenge, I put my thinking cap on.

I searched my mind for a snappy one-liner that would wake him from his unenlightened slumber.

Excited by the question and the prospect of finding the answer, I probed the dark recesses of my mind for some razor-sharp clarity.

And here’s what I came up with…

Absolutely nothing!

Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada.


Because I was thinking.

I was seeking a solution to a non-existent problem.

And therein lies the answer to this question.

Only the mind creates problems where there are none.

What you think, is what you get. So long as you think something is elusive, it will continue to elude you.

Without thoughtsthere are no problems. The mind is at rest.

So stop thinking.

Cease all mental activity and what remains is that which is commonly referred to as “enlightenment”.

How can I break out of the rut of doing the same things every day?

Change is the only constant in life. Paradoxical as that sounds, all of existence is in a constant state of flux and transformation despite how it may appear.

Most people can’t perceive of change because they’re appraising life with their outer senses rather than experiencing it through their inner senses.

When we focus our attention on gross matter, everything largely looks the same. However, when we switch our attention from seeing & thinking to feeling & experiencing, we encounter the subtle energy that underlies and animates all of existence and we come to realise just how much everything in life is moving, flowing, pulsating, vibrating, reverberating, transforming and changing.

Gross matter starts life at a subtle energy level. This is where the focus of attention must be if one wants to manifest change at a gross level.

When your subtle energy is aligned with your innermost desires, your outer actions will have no choice but to fall into line and change will naturally and spontaneously occur.

Part of the challenge here is in recognising what you most deeply desire. Most people think they know what they want, but really what they want is for things not to be the way they currently are.

When we desire change but are disconnected from our hearts, we remain trapped in a victim mentality rather than embracing the empowered creator that is our inherent birthright. We become so bound up in fighting, we forget how to create.

Manifesting that which we most desire can’t be achieved through fighting, it can only happen by creating something different; by working with life instead of against it.

Breaking out of the “rut” starts with accepting life exactly the way it is, rather than the way we think it ought to be.

The more resistance there is to the present moment, the less energy is available to manifest that which you do want.

Only when your resistance to life ceases, can you free up the necessary resources to manifest precisely that which your heart most desires.

How do I practice non-attachment?

Practicing non-attachment is like asking “how do I stop holding this cup?”.

The simple answer is, you put it down.

And so it is with attachments.

Keep putting them down and eventually, you’ll stop picking them up.

Contemplate how you pick them up, rather than why. It is this area of exploration that will prove more fruitful in your non-attachment endeavours.

How you pick up the cup is the same way you put it down, but in reverse.

Does spiritual progress carry over from one life to the next?

QUESTION: If you spiritually awaken in this life and then reincarnate, does your spiritual progress carry over from one life to the next?

It is Life who reincarnates, not you.

Only that which is eternal can be re-born.

That which is born in time dies in time.

Who you think you are (“personality self”) has no eternal value and will someday end, leaving nothing more than a time-bound echo of its once-prior existence.

Outside of time, you cease to exist.

Inside of time, Life awakens when you die.

Life in-carnates and evolution unfolds.

Dis-mantle you and this answer will make perfect sense.

Is being ok with whatever arises, such as anger, ok?

QUESTION: Is being ok with whatever arises ok? For example, if anger arises and then goes, is that ok? Or should anger not arise if one is enlightened?

Being ok with whatever arises is always ok.

Not being ok with whatever arises is also ok.

Anger arises regardless of one’s state of consciousness.

The only difference is, in an enlightened state of consciousness there is no attachment or clinging to what is. Whether that be to the anger itself, or to one’s resistance to anger.

Either way, there is no judgement or desire for life to be a different way. There is only pure awareness and acceptance of that which is unfolding in the present moment.

Speaking from personal experience, anger still pops in to visit me on occasion, but now, curiosity has replaced my aversion. Rather than reject anger, I invite it in and make a pot of tea.

This always reminds me of Rumi’s poem, The Guest House.

What was your last thought before you awakened?

“I’m dead.”

That was precisely my last thought as what I later came to know as “Kundalini” spontaneously awoke and ripped its way through my system causing me to vomit repeatedly and then stop breathing.

As I stood in my downstairs bathroom unable to fill my lungs, all I knew with every fibre of my being was…

“I’m dead. Game over.”

And then…

Everything fell silent.




A blank slate.

There was no bliss, no fireworks, no bright lights, no stunning realisations, no emotion, no feeling. And no breath.

Just empty nothingness for what seemed an eternity.

And then…

One single thought burst into my awareness…

“If I’m dead, how come I’m still standing?!”

And that was it!

Life spontaneously burst back into view, my lungs filled with air, and everything changed.

Within two months my life unravelled and I plunged into a dark night of the soul for the next 7 years.

“Kundalini” ruthlessly stripped me bare and shred my psyche while simultaneously introducing me to the bliss, the fireworks, the stunning realisations and the omnipotent love.

A wild ride indeed!

What is the difference between psychosis and spiritual awakening?

Psychosis is what happens when the mind turns in on itself and breaks away from external reality.

In a healthy functioning psyche, inner and outer realities are aligned in an interdependent relationship; one informs the other and vice versa.

In a psychotic functioning psyche, the inner and the outer have lost contact. They’ve effectively “broken up” and the inner has blocked the outer.

Without the ‘outer’ to anchor it, the ‘inner’ is lost at sea.

If this misalignment is not corrected and connection restored, psychosis is the result.

Psychosis represents extreme separation of one’s psyche.


A spiritual awakening is the realisation of that which is beyond the mind.

It is the cessation of all mental activity and a (divine) calling to transform one’s psyche.

It is a merging of the inner and outer realities and the realisation of the ultimate truth of one’s existence.

If psychosis is rooted in separation, a spiritual awakening is rooted in unification.

How might spirituality ease my suffering?

Suffering arises out of aversion to the present moment.

Spirituality helps you surrender to the present and teaches you how to accept life exactly the way it is, rather than the way you think it ought to be.

Thinking life should be a different way is the root of all suffering.

A spiritual approach cultivates non-attachment by helping you to dismantle and relinquish your desire for life to be anything other than the way it is.

When life is accepted unconditionally, peace reigns supreme.

Why are we constantly living in the past or future, but never in the moment?

Living in the past and/or future is indicative that Time (past & future) has hijacked your ego and you remain unconscious to its influence.

When you become aware of how you create your reality, you will be able to stop Time in its tracks and awaken to the Present moment.

When you let go of the Past (memories) and detach from the Future (aspirations), all that remains is Presence.

It is the difference between being awake and being asleep.

While asleep, you are unconsciously being dreamt up by Time. You are a character in Time’s dream. Who you think you are is nothing more than a collection of memories and aspirations, none of which belong to you or ever have.

You are the dream product of all those who came before you and all those who come after you.

To awaken from Time’s dream, dismantle your ego.

Without an ego, Time ceases to exist.

Let go of who you think you are and Time’s dream ends.

Outside of Time, there is Eternity.

In Eternity, there is only One enduring moment.

Is enlightenment achieved due to much suffering?

There is a mountain near my house that I love to climb.

Reaching its peak and breathing in its 360-degree views is a deeply nourishing and embodied experience that always reminds me of who I am and why I’m alive.

The walk to the top doesn’t take long assuming I maintain a consistent pace and don’t stop along the way.

The first time I walked this mountain was an all-around struggle.

I went alone. I didn’t know the terrain. I didn’t take any supplies. My footwear wasn’t suitable. My feet hurt and I got blisters. And then it rained!

Moreover, I kept getting distracted by meandering paths that quite literally led nowhere or worse still, had me back where I started!

By the time I reached the top, I was wet, tired, hungry and bleeding.

But the view was spectacular! And I fell in love with that mountain.

Was my suffering instrumental in helping me reach the top?

Of course not. My suffering was nothing more than a byproduct of my unpreparedness.

Had I sought guidance beforehand and equipped myself accordingly, my suffering would have been less. Perhaps even non-existent.

What my suffering did do, however, was give me the opportunity to know the worst that mountain had to offer.

Only by experiencing the worst, could I know its best.

Only by walking all the wrong paths, could I find my way to the top.

What is the easiest and most direct path to experiencing one’s true self?

Despite what anyone tells you or attempts to sell you, there is only one answer to this question, and it has been the same answer since the beginning of time, and it will be the same answer until the end of time.

Love is the answer.

Love is who you truly are.

Love is the easiest and most direct path to experiencing your true self.

Better yet, it is available to all of us, right now at this moment, and it’s free!

Any spiritual practice that is not rooted in expanding your capacity for giving and receiving love is nothing more than a distraction.

Love is the enduring path that renders all other paths obsolete.

To experience your true self, contemplate how you give and receive love. Use the reflections of others to dismantle all that is unloving within yourself, and the truth of who you are will naturally and spontaneously reveal itself.

A devoted practice combined with self-inquiry is all that’s ever needed.

Why is grounding so necessary for spiritual work?

QUESTION: Why is grounding so necessary for spiritual work? Isn’t this a form of extra dependence, rather than a step closer to liberation?

There is an erroneous belief that circulates among spiritual communities stemming from an egoic distortion of the teaching, “you are not your body”.

When ego is still in play and to avoid what it thinks is death, ego hijacks this teaching for its own gain, creating a denial of the body, leading to a disembodied split.

With the mind and body separated, ego can remain in play for as long as it can maintain a division between one’s inner and outer realities.

No matter how “enlightened” one thinks they are, if their experience of life causes the body to contract, close and withdraw, this reveals that ego is still very much in play.

A spiritual awakening happens in the mind.

Liberation, however, happens when the mind has been put into the body (“grounding”).

Putting the awakened mind into the body means removing the experiential conflict that prevents one from openly engaging with all of life.

When the body has been spiritualised in this way, any division between mind & body, inner & outer is seen for what it is…illusory.

Pre-transformation, one grounds in the body.

Post-transformation, one grounds through the body.

Grounding through the body is to ground oneself in the groundless place. It means to adopt the shape of whatever is spontaneously unfolding in the present moment without denial or resistance.

If anger pays a visit, one becomes anger. If sorrow stops by, one becomes sorrow. If jealousy rears its head, one becomes jealousy. If joy bounces through, one becomes joy.

Problems in life only arise when we try to cling to whatever is happening.

Grounding in the groundless place is to become life itself in all its chaos and grace.

The freedom that is discovered in the mind must become the same freedom in the body, otherwise, there will always be conflict.

When we stop thinking of ourselves as existing within the body and instead use the body for its intended purpose – as a vehicle to know oneself – the true essence of the teaching “you are not your body”, is revealed.

Until then, attempting to deny the body before it has been spiritualised is a foolhardy approach that only serves to amplify ego’s delusion.

A denial of the body is a denial of life.

Without grounding, liberation simply can’t happen.

As a therapist, how do you know when a client is serious about ending their life?

Truthfully, I don’t know.

What I do know, however, is that most clients have suicidal inclinations at one point or another, and when they find the courage to talk about these it opens up a profoundly deep and potent area of exploration.

Through therapeutic inquiry, it’s usually discovered that it’s not themselves they want to kill, but rather, something else in their life has to die in order for something new to be reborn.

Death, in this context, refers to the ending of something other than our physical selves, for example, the shedding of a limiting belief or the relinquishment of an attachment or desire that is holding us back.

Death is a natural and creative power and goes hand in hand with (re)birth. Nothing in life can grow or renew itself without death.

The problem is, most of us don’t understand the birth/death/birth process and consequently, death becomes distorted into something to fear and avoid. It becomes the archetypal “bogeyman”.

It is our quashing down of this most vital of energies that induce suicidal thoughts, and as if under a “spell”, has us convinced that it is our physical reality (as opposed to our psychic reality) that is the source of the problem. But this is often a distortion. This is the ‘voice’ of the suppression that has been created in our denial of death.

When we come to understand the essential nature of death in helping us to grow, expand and evolve, our aversion to it will naturally dissolve. In its dissolution, no longer will our ignorance of this natural process be hijacked and misinterpreted into something more sinister.

It is only our misinterpretation that blocks the natural flow of energy and causes our evolutionary expansion to come to a grinding halt. Stuck in this empty desolate place between death and rebirth, we are neither alive nor dead. We are depressed.

When we give ourselves permission to make friends with death it no longer has power over us, but powers through us as pure creative energy.

Why do I wake up anxious?

QUESTION: Why do I wake up anxious most mornings? I go to bed feeling calm, centred and balanced. What is happening in my dream state that causes this reaction, and how do I stop it?

Assuming that you slept soundly and there are no medical issues that first need addressing, such as a hormonal imbalance, your body’s response implies that it’s dealing with underlying stress that you might not be consciously aware of.

The presence of anxiety reveals something is out of balance in one or more areas of your life.

Your mental response is to look to your dreaming state for answers, however, whilst dream content can provide a valuable source of information when explored, it’s unlikely to be the origin of your anxiety.

The primary emotion behind anxiety is fear. Fear is an egoic response whose tentacles stretch into the past and future.

Anxiety represents fear of the future. We fear that which we most desire won’t come to fruition and this causes distress in the present moment. Contemplate whether you are fully owning your desires or projecting them elsewhere.

Anxious fear also has a foot in the past. Is there unprocessed disappointment stemming from previously unfulfilled desires causing unrealistic expectations and fear of its repeat in the future?

When there is no apparent cause that can be identified, becoming aware of how anxiety manifests through you is a far more potent area of exploration than why.

To restore harmony to your system, unprocessed past disappointments need resolution and unrealistic expectations of the future need to be brought back into balance.

Invoke ‘hope’ as a support and explore how anxiety uses you as a channel. In this way, you will prevent it from further feasting on your life force energy.

When you have learned these spiritual lessons, you will unlock anxiety’s more powerful attributes. On its life-affirming side, anxiety is a helpful teacher in pointing us towards that which our heart most desires. When we fully own our desires, we are empowered to take action in manifesting them.

Can mindfulness heal depression and anxiety?

Mindfulness can’t heal depression and anxiety but it can help with understanding why, and more potently, how it manifests in your life so you can do the work of healing yourself.

Mindfulness is like a pair of underwater goggles that offers clarity when going for a swim in your unconscious mind. It aids your vision but if you don’t take action and start swimming in a different direction, nothing ultimately changes.

In other words, sustained transformation only happens when you do something different.

How can one walk a spiritual path and desire money at the same time?

Spirituality does not exclude money. On the contrary, money is beneficial to the functioning of our lives.

What spirituality does do, however, is expose “desire” for what it truly is.

Desire keeps us in bondage and enslaves us to the time-bound plane of existence.

Desire is one of the ways that Time (past and future) achieves continuity in the Present.

Desire is a seductive tactic employed by Future to secure airtime in the Now.

Look closely and you will observe Future’s strategic play.

Mischievously weaving a narrative of lack, Future hangs out in the shadows seductively whispering “you’re not good enough”, “you need more”, and “life will be better when…”.

After undermining Presence and invoking dissatisfaction, Future then implants a hollow vision that promises fulfilment and extols a solution that it can never deliver on.

Sometimes, Future even enlists the help of Past to aid with its strategy. Past, of course, is only too happy to assist as its goal of continuity is the same.

When Past steps in to help, the narrative often sounds something like… “things used to be so good, if only I can get back to that…”.

Between Pasts lamenting and Futures yearning, Presence rarely gets a look in.

Disharmony and dis-ease set in.

The desire for money is rarely ever about money itself, but about restoring harmony and reconnecting to the eternal happiness and peace offered by the present moment. It is about freedom from Time.

When this is understood, desire dissolves and Time’s undue influence is restored to its rightful place. In this state of consciousness, abundance naturally flourishes.